Johnny wanted to keep his prized baseball card collection when making the family move. However, his parents wanted to save room in their moving truck for other things. Without talking with their son, they trashed his card collection. After the move their teary-eyed son could not find his card collection. Johnny’s parents replied, “why do you want such a silly thing like a baseball card collection. Get over it and grow up.” Essentially, Johnny’s parents tried to escape their feelings of shameful remorse and shamed their son instead. The shame was put on Johnny. They taught their son that his feelings were wrong and that what he does value has no real value. In secrecy Johnny tells himself that he is not even worthy enough to have a card collection. In time Johnny internalizes his shameful feelings as I am ‘bad’ and I have no value. He learns to hate his own self for having had a personal desire in the first place. Perhaps Johnny’s parents could have discussed alternatives with him before secretly discarding his cards.
A Shaming Experience.
